Thursday, January 28, 2010

Selfless....No by Madama Sebastian

The Sebastians recently celebrated some important landmarks including 2 year time in India and our marriage. In the scheme known as life, 2 years is barely a blink for most people, but for me (Baba) the blink was an eye opener. When you cut to the chase, we are a content pair.
We have no fabulous tales to share unless you count being happy as fabulous. These days, in our shaky world, I think happiness alone is a tremendous achievement. There was a time when happiness had to equal a tangible and it's a relief to drop the concept.
For those of you who know me well and have not been a physical part of my life these last few years, I appreciate all the emails. They connect me to those I love on the other side of the world from the one I live in and, without those notes, my happiness would be half.
Can life be bliss? It's relative. What do you recognize as bliss? A cool breeze on a hot day? Or a new gadget? When I really learned to quit living by other people's rules, my life became easier to live. I don't hurt others to do this and that should be enough.
The invisible societal requirement to please others without acknowledging your own needs (double or triple that for the female gender) is out and out crap. Pardon me for not being an emotional martyr so that someday my tombstone will read like a list of adjectives from a Girl Scout manual. She was "devoted, selfless, caring, charitable, blah, blah."
Those who genuinely have these qualities don't care what their tombstones read. Those who put positive qualities on like slick, shiny clothes are emotional whores whose pimp is ego. Ever see someone hold a door open for someone else and just scan the room with his eyes for the thanks he expects? Bingo. Human to human kindness may include thanks but it doesn't require an audience.
This is not a lesson taught. It is a lesson learned. The day I quit learning, I give full permission to death to claim my sorry ass and spirit me away to the great unknown. When you give yourself permission to learn at every age, you extend, you stretch, you grow, you live. You get one great wave of life, you gonna ride it?


E20s said...

a few years ago, I also have a problem, and almost eliminate about happiness. but that's done, hopefully all will always find happiness.

danyelladana said...

Greates people...Amazing country...